so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i dont even know how to be here
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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