You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
