alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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