I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
