Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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