i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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