You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
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I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
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i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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