Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
