who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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