Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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