We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
