I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
