If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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