I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
