He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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