im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
