brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
