i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
