It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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