we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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