I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
