last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
