Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
