Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
