thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
