Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
