I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
