party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
handjob tips. give me some.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Best friends brother. Beat that.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
