okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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