Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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