It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
