dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
