I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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