On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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