It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
