she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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