college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Operation Purity has been aborted
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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