I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
