All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
