dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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