$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you traded sex for a burrito?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
