It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
