I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
