Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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