We're facebook friends in real life
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
