Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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