how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I need a beard to bite.
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