White coat. Heels.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
