Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Randomize
