Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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