i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
