He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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