i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize