I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
