i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
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you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
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Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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