Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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