how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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