As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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