I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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