I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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