drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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