But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Your cock deserves a montage
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
