Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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