do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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