After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Barsexuality is the new black.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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