and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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