i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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