just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
