Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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