You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize