woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
